There is this dilemma I have to face. I haven’t done anything wrong, except only in my own point of perspective (but that is up to my ego and me to solve). But everyone else also has the right to criticize my actions – for their own pleasure, I guess. I do not say that I am without any guilt. Oh no, there were times, when I enjoyed gossip. It was like my second occupation (after being a cahier, which kind of makes sense). But seriously, I am not proud of it. I never liked to talk about people and their actions, because no one is better than the other.
Anyway, I admit, I am affected by words, but who is not. And in order to become strong, I need to be like the society wants – I need to gossip, swear and hate the world around me. I do not need to see the nice things, because that would make me too naive and boring. I might be mistaken, but aren’t the most interesting people these, who step on others, act like they know better and use others. Of course, this does not lead anywhere, but it is still done like this.
I guess it is called manipulation. I remember one person saying some nasty stuff to me. And not with a oh-I-just-made-a-joke-laugh-now voice. Logically taken, he of course had a point with it. I presume that he was sad about something; or rather not… But my reaction was, why do we think that we can say everything to other person. Don’t we care about the feelings of others. Hmm… most likely not. Why should we – we do not live for others, we live for ourselves, and we even die alone in a cold winter night (if we are lucky). Honesty and truth are dangerous – we might even believe every single detail that is said, just because we consider ourselves to be honest and we expect the same from our opponents. And in that moment, there is no critical mind, at least for me. Only a simple emotion. But, you enjoy using it, don’t you. You see the glow and suddenly, you can’t stop and you need to say something so smart, which makes the other look bad and gives you power over the other. Ahh… the sweet taste of evil... And just because you are bored or you feel like it. So in the end, do we need honesty? Or do we need to show our importance towards people, who are actually more smarter than us?
By smarter people, I mean sincerely happy people. I admire them, because they get up every morning with a smile on their faces. And what is even more admirable, they can actually smile to others, sincerely. They say that a smile prolongs your life and tears take it away. I would not like to be responsible for someone’s death (not that I am, but in general, it makes me think), but if I could make a person smile, even once, even with my stupid-silly-naive comments, then I feel better already. I just don’t feel good, when I do evil, even to those, who have manipulated me. If I would do it, it would not make me any better.
But I have learned one thing: I will not gossip about people, who I know nothing about and haven’t walked in their shoes at least a mile.
No comments:
Post a Comment