Everything driven by passion has greater value... it just depends what are your values.

just another writing...

What is in common with a smoothie and article writing?

Me... Too easy and selfish? Okei. Let me try to explain this in a different way.

Firstly, I would like to point out, that both of these processes demand patience and carefully considering what are you adding and what not to do. When we make a smoothie, it is more for the delight of the taste. Therefore, we mostly take sweet things like fruits and some juice or milk. But we are able to do it with everything else. And why don’t we do it.

I personally never liked tomato juice and I would never add it in a drink. That is why I have not tried to make one with tomatoes or other vegetables. It could very well be that I might do it in the future with other vegetables like carrots, but never tomatoes. Now, writing an article is like making a smoothie. Not all people like the same topics. So, a writer has to take a topic which she or he is good at and can make a story about. As with tomatoes, ships or car technology is not my area, since I do not like it that much.

Overall, everything depends on the content. An article must have technological aspects combined with opinion, but that all has to make sense to a reads. A smoothie also has to be approved by the person who makes and tastes it. So, there you go, similarities between writing an article and a smoothie.

Probably not one of my highlights, but I am on the edge of finding out, what I really want. And right now I want a nice cold smoothie with fruits and orange juice.

The Strange Breeze

A woman is sitting on a bench by the sea. She is looking into the distance and like looking for something. She has a thin dress on and is with a bicycle next to her.
A man is walking by. She spots her and asks kindly, what might she be looking for. The woman answers that there is always some beauty in the leaving ships. And that her husband was on one of them. She talked about him and his work on the ship. She used to go along with him, but not anymore. She gets easily sea sick and does not have so much patience to be on the sea all the time.
The man listens to her carefully, while he thinks about her wife.
"Are you married?" asked the woman.
"I was. She passed away not long ago. She had a heavy disease." said the man.
"I am sorry. You must miss her." said the woman kindly.
"Yes, but I have learned to cope with it and live on."
And they both had some sadness in their eyes - both for the absence of a loved one who can not be replaced. They watched quietly to the sea where the red sun was setting. It was a mild weather and the wind gently touched them. It was like a breeze for something new, perhaps a long lasting friendship.
"I will come here tomorrow. Will you be here?" asked the man.
And the woman nodded. They both looked into each others kind eyes and saw some strange warmness. Like they had know each other for more than these five minutes.
"I will see you tomorrow." said the woman and kept on watching the sea while the man was walking away. And the mild breeze was even milder.

Toughest job ever - being a good teacher

Somewhere between the lecture about moisture not going through the building if the pressure is too big inside and the group work of finding the perfect plan layout for a factory, I had my doubts about the perfect model for a teacher. Is it really that difficult to teach and prepare for lectures, that a teacher is not able to do that? Or are there just people who are not suitable for teaching?
In a student life we meet a lot of teachers. Some we like and the others tend to be not so pleasant. And if another person next to us has the chance to express his or her feelings, then one might like the teacher that I have no common language at all. But that does not make anyone more unintelligent.
A friend of mine said golden words that we can not like all people. We are not obligated to like or even care for everyone. But we must be able to work with them, so students and teachers both need to have a level of humanity and tolerance. So, why do some teachers refuse or ignore the ethics of humanity?
Let me describe the situation happening in the classroom. The teacher is explaining the same thing again, but not the necessary information, but minor details blowing into a really big air bubble. And then during his lecture he gets confused many times, like he has never seen his power point presentations before. Yes, they say that a power point is not the best way of making these things. But nevertheless, every teacher should know their field and what the heck did they write in the slides. Students can make mistakes, teachers can not allow themselves to let go so easily.
And that was not it. The teacher was laughing at remarks, which made the students look like they have no idea what he is talking about. Like that we have to understand some information about calculating and he would just laugh because it seemed likely that we can not handle it. Talk about being rude.
So, how can other people take him as an example or a teacher. I know, that in nowadays world students have even worse cases of teachers. Why does a teacher want that job anyway, if one can not handle it and is more of a bad role model? Is it because of the money or because no one else wanted it. Or is it a calling...
You know, I do not consider myself wise in this case, that I need to become a teacher. A teacher is someone, who is capable of arts and has many sides. The one who has been trough pedagogical education and who is also humain and moral.
The teacher who I have encountered does not have these qualities, but I am not the judge in this. As I have my own opinion, then I believe that not anyone should qualify as one. Then again there are all kinds of people in this world. Me being one of them... and not everyone likes me. And that is only fair.
There is a famous saying from Tao Te Ching that says if there is not a proper teacher, the student will fail. I hope that will not be the case in my situation, because I would really hate to spend my time unwisely.
But I admire the teachers, especially the good ones. As my grandmother is one excellent teacher liked by all her students, which is worth more than all the stupidity on this planet.

To Oscar and the free will of writers...

I made a promise - I will write every day something. I have doubts about what is my area of topics and what should I concentrate in overall.
Many of my previous works have been either really fictional and artistic, you know like Kafka and fairy tales or something in the middle (if that even exists ;). And some teachers have also said that I have talent in writing. As well as my reports seem to have positive grades... it could be my personality as well :D. Okei, enough with the ego.
But seriously, for the next month I will write and write and write ... I heard that the trick is not to go to sleep until you have written your words for the day.
So, that was what I wanted to write about today.
You know the feeling, that you need to get something out of you, and writing seems to be one of those ways of doing it. And whatever you put on the paper, it will still make sense, because you created it. At least, that is on the good times... on the bad times, there is so much self-criticism and it is impossible to quiet the mind for correcting all the mistakes.
But for a writer it is the same as for the artist (painter) - if the work needs editing, then it should be done until it is ready. But sometimes, the creation is overwhelming that there is nothing needed to add or take away. In my opinion, that is what art and self expression is all about - to find the inner balance between reality and self-criticism.
Before I end, I would like to quote my favorite writer Oscar Wilde: "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." (1905)
It is not that we are fake, which might be in some cases. But we tend to loan or take thoughts from someone else unconsciously. So if you think you are genuine, then it is not so. I remember all the words and habits, which I have inherited from the world and other people.
Thank you for the experience for making me who I am today!

How is this relevant to the communication between people?

Just watched a bit of Zeitgeist – it always makes me more aware of the world. I might not agree with everything, but then again a lot in there is how I feel as well. But yeah, same problem again, how do you start changing the world, which still lives in old ways. There is no way that all people agree to one kind of arrangement.

We can see examples of this in everyday communication as well. People just have difficulties in finding a common language. It can be even a smallest and the most pointless topic. And if a person is willing to defend some unreasonable argumentation, then there is no way that mind can be changed.

Recently I had two arguments, which I can claim with certainty, that these could have been prevented, if both sides would be willing for compromises. Firstly, my boyfriend and I had a serious topic about my financial status and work. The problem was that I have to put my working hours in later afternoon, because I have school. On the other hand, I do not want to lose my job, because it would be more suitable for the employer. In the end, the argumentation was unsolved, because I we physically did not have the strength to fight.

So, what was the point of stressing all these nerves, if communication in the end fails anyway? And even if one of us tries to prove the point in a nice manner, still the one feels being attacked.

Another example is with the person who provides me with this job. We both had a misunderstanding about payment. I tried in a nice manner to explain that this is how things are, but she seemed not to understand at all and be stuck with one line, like she was insulted. So again, a problem unsolved, because two people do not know exactly how to connect with each other.

There are many self-help books for how to communicate with people. I really like that Dale Carnegie suggests staying positive and getting your way with that method. It seems that it makes the people do your way. Dealing with a person, who has a hard day or is just not willing to make any compromises, because he or she does not want, is not stupidity, but as Deepak Chopra puts it - pain in a person and unconscious actions regarding it. Believe it or not, but all our prisons are filled with people like that. (And they call me crazy.)

In the end, I do not think that money is that important to spend your nerves on fighting. And if I cannot do anything about it, then it is not worth the fuzz (Dale Carnegie).

I would like to end this blog with the topic I started with. The Zeitgeist Movement proposes that all people should be more conscious towards our lives. They put in simple words – man, think what is happening around you and whether you like it or not. In the end it is in every person’s free will whether they absorb everything in the society or think outside the tv-box. And Zeitgeist is a good beginning to that direction. At least a persons’ view of the world is not so narrow.

Who has not seen it yet can visit youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TZMOfficialChannel

Did you notice what I just did?
I made a contradiction within this writing. In the beginning I say that there is no way that all people agree to the same thing. In the end I make a certain remark, that people should be more conscious and watch Zeitgeist. So, I like people thinking my way. Heh…
And in the end it is up to every person, because no one is forced to do anything. (Except our society’s who need to fight in Afghanistan. And our governments, who steal money from the people, not only in the US.)

For thinking ...

So apparently the board has a cool message:
Believe it or not! My short skirt has NOTHING to do with you!
It is to you all harassers out there!

Do you happen to have any ... grapes?

There was a really cool duck song in Youtube, where the repeated question was: “Do you happen to have some … grapes?” So, do you?

I do. Eating them right now in the kitchen of my parents’ place. Really giant nicely ripe grapes. In the mean time trying to solve some occurring problems in my head. Firstly, I was wondering, should I be a good friend or a moral person. Here is the dilemma (not regarding the yummy grapes at all, unfortunately :S) – I do not know whether to say to a friend that he is being too pushy and that he hopes for too much. Or just to save my own nerves just ignore the person for the rest of my life. And then when we meet at a party of a common friend, it would be too weird. (Maybe it is already weird.)

It is never easy to have friends like this, because it makes you doubt about the unmoral world we live in. And I really wanted to live in the pink bubble, where everything is beautiful and nice and pink… did I mention pink :P Anyways, if that happens, again, then what is there left in this world. I try to be as strong and up-to-character as possible, but sometimes I just have the feeling, that these people just live in their own world and do not understand what is happening. It is especially difficult with people, who have not had any relationships (yes, I mean sex) in the past years (Do not know, how they can survive that long).

It would be fair to confront him and say, that I do not feel okei with this kind of situation, but I presume, that he will be insulted and heart-ached. Although, he is the one, who has those weird thoughts… hopefully not. But seriously, how do you put a sense in a person, who is not thinking with his head.

I guess we’ve all been through this. Many times we have been crying or kicking something just because our nerves could not take it anymore and we feel like there is no love for us left. We do not consider at all that the world goes on even without the pain. Go figure… And if one chooses to go on in the end, then there will still be a little part of us, which has doubts and self-critiques.

Hey, I am not weak… that much, it is just that I actually consider that person being my good friend. He might take advantage of that, but I will never know unless I confront him. So, here is the message I planned to write him: You have been disrespectful towards me and I do not like it. I feel like we cannot be friends anymore.

I decided that, by the way, after I sent him a message that I will bring him girls from my country (never mind the context) and he responded that he misses only me. Talk about awkward …

In the end, is it in our power to change friends that much. If they wish, they can be assholes or jerks or what ever they wish, but if it crosses the line, then the answer is simple – how far is the limit and how much do you really care for your friend. Deep down inside I hope he understands this, that I do not like it at all. And I hope one fair day he comes to his senses (or finds a woman :P). So we would all be a happy family… probably this is not the way it will happen. So just for the record, for myself or anyone else who happens to read this, please do not harrasse your friends; it makes them feel REALLY uncomfortable! And if it happens, try it with a joke at first, then with strong tone and then just do not give a crap about that person… Good luck to all of us in this place we call humain world! :D

Simply put and misunderstood

Why do we keep complayning and thinking that everything is hard? Isn't it enough that we get criticism from other people, but we also do it to ourselves... lack of self-confidence, perhaps.
Life seems not to be hard. Just get it started and do it. And if you find yourself on the way and keep doing it, then it seems to be good. Until you meet a certain point, where nothing you do makes sense anymore.
Self-criticism or coming from others. Seriously, especially I should have a thick skin and not pay attention to any of them if I know in my heart whaat is right. But if the other person seems to be right as well, then we have to be open-minded and co-operate. So, the more we flow through the life, the more we are able to understand how this process actually works.
Call it intuition, but perhaps life is supposed to be hard in one way or another... how else do we find out what are we and how do we wish to proceed things... Perhaps the best way is to follow ones' bliss (... heart).
What do we really love to do? Ride a bike, play with animals, make clothes or write... listing down everything will give some sense in this chaotic world.
The point, what I wanted to make with this post is, that never mind what others say, never mind what you think, all things will change eventually, as long as you believe in yourself and find a purpose to your existence. Even if it is a puppy or riding a bike every day.
I remember freshly one quote, and I am not sure who said it, but it goes something like this: "A story of a human life, is the story of people finding themselves." This perhaps is the ultimate goal - to live, to live and to live.

Aliens? Are you serious?!

Everyone is interested in whether there is life beyond our little planet Earth. And somewhat the answer has been obvious for many decades. Yes, we are not alone, although we in our Godly complexes and scientific reasons would like to be.
The evidence have lead to many suggestions of beings not from Earth. We all know stories of flying saucers and aliens trying to take over Earth, perhaps because of the water resources. But what is the truth? What to believe and what not?
I do not claim to know it as a lot of people as well. But as I have seen and heard from other sources, they are not violent. Otherwise they would have taken over the planet a long time ago.
So what really happened in area 52? According to witnesses (people working there before) have claimed to see many events of having aliens in the complex itself. The sources are all over Youtube, but hey, must be careful which one to believe.
Everything in my perspective seems to follow more like the scenes in Stargate (and yes, I am a fan of science fiction. Particularly, I find these series interesting.). That aliens help humanity to fight against the evil of different worlds. Of course we have yet to find the mysterious gate, which we are able to travel to different worlds. Although, there are claims of 10 dimensions, and some of the extraterrestrials originating from other dimensions.
So, if we take all these claims as some part of truth (Although, this truth is partly real... the part being having witnesses seeing aliens.), then shouldn´t we be able to make some research according to that. Unfortunately, all evidence seem to be hidden. And I have reached to a dead end.
Going with the stories that science fiction presents us, is just simply not enough anymore. The truth must be told.
Is the human kind ready for truth? Maybe humanity has seen this coming a long way, since we seen the aliens existing in ancient times. We would like to give credit to human race for building the pyramids, but they did not do this alone. Even my grandmother has seen the famous flying saucers. And many stories have been told from generations as fairy tales or fictional poems. So, shouldn´t we be ready a long time ago. Wait... if there is truth, why are we not aware of this. Someone is hiding it for our own protection or...
you know, this still keeps going to a dead end... In the end, all I know is that, personally I am interested in truth and how to make the world go on without destroying itself, so we would be ready for the higher technology and moral perspectives of the other worlds. At the moment, I presume the world would take aliens as a threat... thank you countless movies and secrecy :S
Maybe the first step would be to stop hiding things which are actually important to all men equally. And secondly, power goes only as far as people let it go... because a human being is not evil. We are actually quite peaceful and happy, if we are able to do what we choose. And who says we can´t. Oh, wait... the system...
So... to sum all this up, love yourself and the world you live in. And find proof for things you do not understand. It is part of growing up as a planet... as humanity, whoever we are, where ever we are.
P.S. There have been made countless efforts for people seeing and wanting to see the truth. Great thanks for them for providing some information!

What the heck´ happened to the school system

Haven´t posted for a long time. Just a few months, but still feel like I am missing something from my life. Since I have holiday, then I am just relaxing and taking the time off. Some events in past months have triggered my mind to another topic. Probably I knew this was coming a mile away.
So, long time ago I signed up with dancing lessons. I really liked salsa, and after a few lessons, I met a lovely guy who I was dancing with as well. There was something in him (hmm... there always is.. you know, one of these mysterious type) and we kept on talking until he asked me out. And since that day on, we have been how do you put it lived-happily-ever-after story. And it truly is.
That was a little brighter story. The other one is how things go wrong and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Even an avalanche would be an easier solution... a bit overreacting, but wait til you know what I mean.
And I though that I was signing up for something good, but it turned out that having 5 students in a classroom is not the kind of idealistic situation you would hope for. Especially, when you are international people in an other specific nationalities´ classroom, while you were not talking to each other at all and everything seemed kind of unethical. So, we had no respect, but we thought we still could study. No problem - yeah :S (sigh!) The teachers also had something in their minds ... or maybe not, I can´t be sure (and I am really sorry if I am being unfair to anyone in this situation). Of course you know the story about Cinderella and the Fairy God Mother. The teachers were like the Fairy God Mother - they were taking our emotions into account and we had to feel like children, since there was only five of us left. So, simply put, there was the situation of unethical working environment, where the teachers are teachers and are not. Let me explain the not part - that also meant that in the exam we found out (to our surprise, really :O) that we had failed the exam. Because we did not have sufficient knowledge of the course. (And yeah, of course I am angry at the fact that I failed.) In the school I am studying, I still feel like I am a child. And the teachers treat you like one as well. I do not know exactly how is this supposed to help us in real life... and how does telling us in the end of the semester help all this situation. But then again, it just might be me.
There was also a possibility of redoing the exam, but what would be the point in doing that. Going on with the same problems is, seriously, painful enough and to tell the truth, I had it with treating us special, just because there were few of us and throwing us around as we had no say in this. So, what do I do now? Go back to my own country and start all over again, getting a lot of experience from this. I don´t think so... I will give the school one more chance. Most likely finish with AP degree or if everything goes more than better, then finish with Bachelor :)
Until I wonder and criticize, cry in the pillow and throw things at something, until then I have time to set a focus on the upcoming semester. And what will all that do...
who knows...
The future is full of unexpected thins like me finding a perfect companionship. Except his sleeping habits :D
Moral of this adventure: never go to university if you have a class of 12 people.
Love you guys!

About Ambition

So before going to sleep I was thinking of doing some writing, since I have felt like this for a long time. The topic is about how far can we actually reach and why should we do this. This time it is a bit more serious talk...

There are several people, who will just live for a purpose of knowledges, that one day they will be good at what they do. I admire them, since they are my friends and if not, then people who I am glad to claim as competition. But since I also see how they are slowly killing their lives with that goal, I start to wonder, is this what life is really about? Must we suffer loneliness and solitude in order to become good at what we do? And believe me, they are doing this day after day.

Scientifically, we are more able to work if we have endorphins in our bodies and those we get from laughter and socializing. Usually, if we study too hard, we do not have time for these. And still grabbing the next book to eat and understand would be the ultimate solution.

I have thought that a human brain can go on, because there is no limit – only emotional. In this conclusion, I have understood that studying can happen all the time. So, why did I stop my rapid studying mania?

One reason was that I finally understood that there are more things in life than just studying. You also must learn how to live and enjoy it. Also, we value the people, who are good at what they do, but we can also do those things with a different attitude. I guess these people aren’t exactly unhappy, they have just lost the true meaning of life.

This is the main problem of human nature – we need knowledges. Very distinctively described in “Faust”. Faust was so intelligent, but there was something still missing from his life, and that was brought to him by the devil. Falling in love is a distraction, at least to a person, whose sole goal is to get more and more information into his/her brain. And in the end these people forget how to live their life. Does intelligence make us more smarter about the world? Does it give us the comfort that we are on the right track and do not have to switch trains? Or are emotions just killing our brain and human nature?

Dwelling on the human nature, we are created as animals to follow our basic instincts. We are meant to enjoy emotions, but since a human brain has a giant capacity, then the ones who develop it and enjoy doing this process, they love (literally) their work. What will become of these people by the end of their life? Do they have children by the end of 40? Will they become rich and famous, as this is the ultimate goal? Do they know how to achieve these by not killing themselves before that?

Or is this life just a fiction – we cant, simply is not possible, to have everything what a human soul requires. We just have to make a compromise between our emotions and ultimate goals of fortune. But the wise people know that not everything that is only one obsessive goal will bring happiness. It might advance the world like Einstein or themselves, like Rockafeller in his early age. But in my opinion, that is not what life should be about.

I guess, every person in the end finds his or her way, but my ultimate goal it to have everything – I want to have the time for studying, for socializing and resting. And in the end achieving what I want in this life. And that is one ambition that takes some time. There is one thing I have learned from my mistakes and that is that it takes real courage to face, what you really want and what is important, combined with your true nature.